Redefining what “Healthy” Means to You (from an Eating Disorder Therapist)

Let’s be real.

Being in eating disorder recovery is hard enough on its own, and living in a world shaped by diet culture only adds to the challenge.

Diet culture sneaks into everything: the media we consume, the food we pick up at the grocery store, even the way we

feel when we try on clothes. I could give endless examples, but you get the point…diet culture has deeply influenced

how society views relationships with food, movement, and bodies.

When I was in early recovery, my treatment team kept preaching that “all foods fit” and “health is at any size.” And

honestly? I remember feeling confused and even frustrated, because those ideas didn’t match what I was hearing from

my own friends and family or the world around me. Recovery often asks us to let go of old rules and beliefs, and that can

feel scary. Stop and think for a second… when you hear the word healthy, what comes to mind? For so many of the

clients I work with, that word is loaded and can stir up a lot of complicated emotions.

That’s why I believe there’s so much power in reclaiming what healthy means for you. One of the most beautiful parts of

recovery is the individuality, it gives you permission to create a life that feels authentic, supportive, and aligned with your

values. In both my personal recovery and my work as a clinician, my version of health looks very different from what diet

culture—or even some of my loved ones—would define it as. And that’s okay. Because for me, health means being

grounded, present, connected, and free from the grip of my disorder.

So, what can healthy look like in eating disorder recovery? The truth is, it’s unique to each person and something you’ll

define with your treatment team. But here are a few principles that come up often in the recovery community that

challenge the rules of the disorder while also rejecting diet culture:

· All foods fit!

You’re out to dinner and notice your favorite dessert on the menu. You get to say yes to that! When we cut ourselves off

from foods we enjoy, our lives shrink. Variety is key in recovery, not only does it nourish your body, but it also helps quiet

that voice telling you to restrict.

· You can be healthy at any size!

Weight, shape, and size don’t define health. I’ve met people who fit society’s “ideal” body type while secretly restricting

and harming their health. I’ve also worked with folks in larger bodies who fuel themselves, move mindfully, and

prioritize their well-being. Health isn’t a number on the scale…it’s how you care for yourself.

· Joyful movement belongs in recovery.

If you’re like me, the treadmill and weight machines at the gym feel like torture. Movement doesn’t have to look like that.

When it’s the right time in your recovery, try different kinds of movement and notice what feels good. Joyful or mindful

movement isn’t about burning calories. It’s about presence, grounding, and enjoyment.

· Rest is productive.

In a culture that worships hustle, slowing down can feel uncomfortable. But rest is not laziness…it’s fuel! Whether that’s

sleep, quiet time, or simply saying no, rest is an essential piece of recovery and health.

· Mental and emotional health matter, too.

Diet culture zeroes in on bodies, but true health goes far beyond that. It includes self-compassion, peace of mind,

supportive relationships, and emotional resilience. Health is about being safe, connected, and fulfilled in your life—not

just about how your body looks.

Redefining health isn’t something you do overnight, love! It’s a process of unlearning and relearning, of replacing rules

that no longer serve you with practices that support healing. Some days, that feels empowering. Other days, it feels

messy, confusing, and lonely. That’s why it’s so important to have people in your corner who really get it…your treatment

team, a trusted friend, or a therapist who can walk alongside you.

If you’re reading this and feel yourself resonating with the idea of redefining health on your own terms, know this: you

are not alone. Recovery isn’t about molding yourself into diet culture’s version of “healthy.” It’s about discovering your

version—the one that allows you to live fully, freely, and authentically. And you deserve that.

You are doing the hard work and I am proud of you!

Sydney Hafer, AMFT, APCC

Sydney is a therapist providing virtual therapy in California to adults, teens, couples and families who want to heal from CPTSD & eating disorders. Check out her website and book a free 20 min intro call if you are interested in starting your healing journey with her!